Emotional connection online dating dating japanese single woman

the realization that you’re watching precious seconds of your life drain away and you’ll never recover them.

It’s all well and good to be able to engage someone intellectually, but you need to spur an reaction as well.

We are drawn to passion in others because it kindles our own emotions.

emotional connection online dating-52

” In other words: you want to do more than just get inside your date’s pants, you want to get inside their .

We are drawn to people who have passion for something in their lives; it indicates that the person we are talking to has depth and interests outside of the hum drum day to day “get up, go to work/school, come home, eat, go to bed”.

So we’re talking about chemistry – that ineffable “spark” that theoretically you either feel or you don’t when you meet someone.

The idea of chemistry-as-fate, this moment when two compatible people meet has taken on the level of myth in our culture.

Tom Cruise remains one of my go-to references for how passion can create connections: even if you think he’s a couch-jumping nutjob, you can’t deny the man’s charisma picks you up and carries you along when he gets excited about something…

because he can express his passion clearly and without restraint, even when talking about something painfully boring and mundane.

Active listening, on the other hand, means not just paying attention to what your date has to say, but making a point of engaging them – making sure that you understand and asking questions in order to prompt them to expand upon the topic.

By asking follow up questions, asking to explain something you weren’t sure of or to expand on a subject, you’re showing them that you’re interested in what they have to say.

This clip from Mission Impossible 3 is one of my favorite examples of how he communicates his passion for something that is ultimately pretty goddamned dull.

He’s unapologetic – he doesn’t say “yeah, my job kind of sucks”, he speaks with pride and enthusiasm.

He has a firm gaze and a light tone, speaking with a smile, as opposed to looking down and away, shuffling his feet or otherwise giving an indication that he really isn’t that enthused about his work.

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